Bakura's first trip to kindergarten!
by Psycho BakuRyou
Summary: After Bakura finally relaxed from his Marik cavity...it's ime he went to get an education...or so Ryou says. But he's not going to high school he's going to kinder. Watch as Bakura "tries" to master kindergarten...with a guy named John...sitting by him wh


Bakura's first trip to kindergarten!

Bakura waited eagerly for the surprise Ryou was going to give him. He had stayed up all night watching Ryou sleep……ooooh creepy!

Ryou sat up quickly and stared at Bakura in confusion.

"What the fuck are you doing in my room? Why the hell are you staring at me sleeping? What time is it?" Ryou asked.

"8:00" Bakura said hyperly.

Ryou got dressed quickly and dressed Bakura in a cute little suit that you'll usually wear for like a baptism or something fancy like that and tucked in his shirt.

"Bakura you look so handsome." Ryou said spraying some cologne on him.

"You didn't have to tell me that. I can see. I'm a fine ass hot chick." Bakura said making out with himself in the mirror.

"Yea……..ok?" Ryou said polishing Bakura's shoes.

"Ooh. I'm such a good kisser. Yes Bakura. Yes." Bakura moaned drooling on Ryou.

"Ew! Stop! You're scaring me." Ryou said.

Bakura started licking the glass and saw Marik on the other side. He had been licking Marik's reflection. "SON OF A BITCH! OH! My life is truly over now. I…OI…I ugh! Ew I…licked Marik." Bakura said wiping his tongue on Ryou's shirt.

Ryou stared at his slobbered on shirt, glared at Bakura and slapped him unexpectedly.

"Wow Bakura you look so cute. Can you walk me down the street?" Marik asked pinching his cheek.

Bakura rubbed his cheek and threw holy water on it. "Don't touch me!" He screamed.

"Today's Bakura's big day Marik. He's going to behave like a little angel!" Ryou emphasized angel. "He's going to be nice and do all his work." He added.

Bakura was staring out the window and saw the same old lady at the dentist checking him out again and licking her lips dropping her teeth yet again this time in the sewer.

"Dude this old lady keeps checking me out." Bakura said.

Marik started checking Bakura out and wiggled his tongue and laughed.

"Oh Ra!" Bakura screamed coughing and gagging. "Hey come back!" He screamed out the window to the old lady.

"Stop it Bakura. Marik you too. Come on you're going to be late." Ryou said.

He started the car and Marik sat in the back seat with Bakura.

Bakura had his eyes closed the whole time and kept feeling someone poke him.

"Ryou! Turn back I left the holy water! I'll die! Marik keeps touching me! I'm infected Ryou!" Bakura screamed.

"Marik stop touching Bakura god." Ryou said.

"The……Marik held the note on the—wheels on Ryou's car goes beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep the wheels on Ryou's car goes beep beep beep all through the town. The horn in his car goes—he gave sexual moans—all through the town." Marik sang.

"The wheels on Ryou's car goes and kills Marik goes and kills Marik goes and kills Marik the wheels on Ryou's car goes and kills Marik hip hip hurray! The horn on Ryou's car goes yes he's dead…yes he's dead the horn on Ryou's car goes yes he's dead yes he's dead and Bakura in the back seat can finally open his eyes." Bakura sang.

"Mine was better." Marik said breathing on Bakura.

"Ahhh! He breathed on me! Lysol the airs infected!" Bakura screamed.

Ryou parallel parked the car getting the both out.

"Ooh Ryou thinks he's cool because he parallel parked." Marik said.

"No…I don't." Ryou said.

Bakura bumped into the wall and grabbed onto Ryou's shoulders so he didn't have to open his eyes and see Marik.

"Oh yes Bakura." Marik said rubbing his butt against his.

"Ahh! Ryou he's molesting me!" Bakura screamed.

"Come here you sexy thang." Marik said running after Bakura.

"Ryou make him stop! Please make him stop! I'm going to get infected!" Bakura cried.

Ryou grabbed his Yami and put him in front of him.

"Ahhh protection." Bakura said sighing.

"Psst." Ryou heard someone call. He looked back and saw someone calling him.

"Dude Ryou you're all over my space. Back up a little please." Bakura said wlking around. He saw two "tanned" hands wrap around him and started screaming. "AHHHH! I'M DIRTY1 INFECTION! HIVS! STDS! MARIK DISEASE! BLINDNESS!" Bakura screamed throwing Marik off him and jumping in a pool to clean.

Ryou came back and slapped his forehead. "Now you're all wet! Bakura you better behave and make a good impression today." Ryou said trying him off.

"Marik keeps touching me…I might become like him. I don't want to blind myself when I look in the mirror Ryou. Get rid of him." Bakura said.

"Marik stay out here." Ryou said taking Bakura into class.

"Ah, the student. Class come and welcome Mr. Bakura." The teacher said.

"Hi Bakura." They all said.

"Dude Ryou that's the little girl whose obsessed with her grandpa." Bakura whispered pointing at her.

"If he misbehaves _don't_ call me just punish him." Ryou said walking out.

"Bye Bakura!" Marik said waving.

Bakura screamed and hid behind the teacher.

"Take a seat next to John." The teacher said.

All the kids started coughing because of Bakura's strong smell of cologne. "He's an old man!" A girl screamed.

Bakura stuck the finger at them all and took a seat.

They all gasped. "He stuck the magic finger. The mystic finger. That finger. Oooh. The finger." The all mumbled.

"Bakura…corner that's a bad finger." The teacher said.

"But…I do it all the time at home and on the streets and at Marik…and at Marik." Bakura said.

"Well you're in school now corner." The teacher said.

Bakura grumbled and stayed in the corner for ten minutes.

"Now…take a seat next to John." She repeated.

_John…hmmm…Ryou's cheating on me with that kid! Surely he can do much better. See I'm hot. That kids not. He must have a bathroom in that oversized bag of his. _Bakura tried to sit down in the small little chairs provided and got his ass stuck. "Oh no! It's the toilet incident all over again!" He screamed trying to get it off. "Ryou get the butter! Ryou the butter!"

"Bakura sit. We're learning math today." The teacher said.

"Ooh I know that. Ryou taught me!" Bakura said.

"2+2?" The teacher asked.

Bakura raised his hand purposely smacking John.

"22!" Bakura screamed.

The teacher shook her head.

"44!" Bakura said again.

The teacher shook her head.

"90!" Bakura screamed.

The teacher shook her head.

"1,900,556,390!" Bakura screamed.

The teacher cocked an eyebrow and picked on John.

"4." John said.

"You think you're cool kid! You may have stolen Ryou from me with your toilet charm…but it's on now. It's on." Bakura said angrily glaring at him.

John trembled in fear and put his head down.

"Alright enough math take out your books we're reading now." The teacher said.

"The…engine…goes…and kills Marik! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!" Bakura laughed evilly.

"John…read for him and correct him please." The teacher said.

"The engine goes whoo whoo and rides up the mountain." John read.

"You're in boiling water kid." Bakura whispered to him angrily.

"Now what was the moral of that sentence?" The teacher asked.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me! Trains make excellent tools to kill Marik." Bakura said.

"John take it away." The teacher said.

John said this out of this world response that happened to be right.

"Dude…you'll pay. You'll pay for all this." Bakura said.

"Recess." The teacher said.

Bakura ran outside and looked at all the fun kiddy stuff they had. He rode on the slide and broke it in half. The swings pole couldn't support his weight. He popped the kiddy pool and killed the horse and the elephant rocking ridey thingy's.

"Psst Bakura." Someone called him.

Bakura ran over to the gate and saw whom it was.

"Ahhhh! It's you! What are you doing on theses sacred grounds!" Bakura screamed.

"Ryou told me to give you your lunch. And I wanted to see you baby. Rarrr." Marik said purring like a cat and smiling at him. "Bakura…blue bikini." He said.

He snatched his lunch and ran away from Marik. Bakura Sat in the sandbox with everyone who was eating their lunches. "Casserole! Not this shit again!" Bakura screamed. "Hey…hey kid. I'll trade you this colon poison food for that peanut butter and jelly sandwich." Bakura said.

"Sure." The kid said.

"Sucker." Bakura said eating the sandwich in 3 bites.

"Time to come inside. Hurry up and eat." The teacher said.

Bakura groaned and rubbed his tummy. "My tummy hurts." He groaned.

"Hey…I don't think I told you, but my mommy put something called an Exlax or something…something that makes you take a poopy in my sandwich…because I be constipated. Casserole was awesome you missed out on a healthy colon." The kid said.

"Yes! Your colon is full of shit Bakura! You should've eaten me!" The casserole screamed from inside the kid's stomach.

They were doing a new lesson when Bakura groaned loudly. "Teacher I need to poopy." He said.

"Go." She said.

Bakura looked at the toilet. "Looks like the one at home…should've brought my mobile potty. I'm scared…what if Marik's comes out again or I get stuck?" He asked himself.

Everyone in the class stayed quiet and listened to Bakura talking to himself in the bathroom.

The diarrhea kicked in and groaned loudly.

"I……..think I can I think I can I think I can I think I ooooooooooooooooooo yea." Bakura said relieved.

The kids heard a splishing and splashing and sounds of like a waterfall and they all said "Ewwww!" They heard a sniffing sound followed by a "Ooo. That's stinky."

Bakura came out and closed the door. "I would wait before I go in there." He said sitting down next to John.

"Alright…um…let's see…um…why don't we finger paint?" The teacher said.

They sat in a group and left Bakura by his lonesome self.

"Did you see his hair…it's like white? He's so gross." Some girl said giggling and passing him by.

Bakura sighed and began finger painting.

"This ones called Marik's dead…YES!" Bakura said putting scribble scrabble for his signature. Bakura put his palm on the paper and made a print. "Ahhh it's attacking me." Bakura said laughing at himself and waving the paper up in the air. He drew a little sign and said it was neat and stared at it.

A little girl went up to him to borrow some red paint and looked at the sign. "Code pee pee! Code pee pee! We have a CAA in here!" The girl screamed.

"CAA?1 What's a CAA!" Bakura asked freaking out anyway.

"Even though you should know…the CAA is an organization. The Children's Agency of Abuse. You are a child abuser look at the nazi sign!" The girl screamed.

"It's a birdie." Bakura said.

"It's a Nazi sign! Babies Unite!" The girl screamed. They turned into a big robot of kids ready for an assault. "Remember the firemen, the police, and the ice cream man guys. We die honoring them…mostly the ice cream man guys." The girl said.

"That's cool I want a robot too." Bakura said looking around for any more kids. He saw John and changed his mind. "No I will not be a robot with that THING!" Bakura said folding his arms.

They were about to attack when the bell rang. "We'll get you next time." The girl said running off.

Bakura gathered his books and walked out with his paintings and the chair still stuck to his ass.

"Bakura wait. I see you are having a problem…socializing with the other kids. John kept telling me you had it in for him and you were scaring him." The teacher said.

"Well…he did something to me that I will not mention. Bye now." Bakura said walking like a crab with the seat on his ass.

"Hello Bakura. How was your first day of kindergarten?" Ryou asked meeting up with him.

"This was kindergarten! No wonder I didn't fit in the seats." Bakura said looking at his ass. "It was…ok." He replied.

"I'll help you get that seat off you ass when we get home." Ryou said.

"Ryou!" The teacher called out.

"Yes…?" Ryou asked.

"I need to speak with you." The teacher said.

"What did he do?" Ryou asked angrily walking away from Bakura.

Bakura sat on his "mobile" chair waiting for Ryou.

"Hey…baby." The old lady said.

"You're…stalking me!" Bakura screamed.

"You're just…so cute! Can you…please walk me down the streets it's the only reason why I've been stalking you." The old lady said.

"Well…I'm not walking you to the other side of the street bitch now walk away." Bakura said.

The old lady did her routine…check him out…lick lips…lose her teeth and leave.

Marik came skipping along throwing little flowers and stopping in front of Bakura.

Bakura closed his eyes. He think got an idea. _Marik gets sad because he never gets a high five…why not…give him one._ Bakura snickered evilly. "Hey Marik." He said still with his eyes closed.

"Yes sir." Marik said.

"High…five." Bakura said raising his hand.

Marik gasped. "Yay! Finally! A high five!" He said happily going to slap it.

Bakura lowered his hand quickly. "Oh…thought you had a friend." He said laughing at Marik.

Marik cried and ran away from Bakura.

"Yes! Yes! It's over! I've won the battle!" Bakura screamed happily.

"Bakura…let's go home we have to talk." Ryou said grabbing his arm and taking him home.

"What's up Smokey?" Bakura asked.

"Bakura…the teacher said that you talk to yourself and you draw pictures of Nazi signs and fantasies of killing Marik. When you read a story about a train you said a train is the perfect weapon to kill Marik. She said…I should take you to the psychologist to check you out." Ryou said.

"Oh don't worry I already got an old lady checking me out…it's creepy." Bakura said.

"You're going to the psychologist tomorrow Bakura. I'm worried about you." Ryou said.

"Fine…ok I'll go. Better get my stuff ready." Bakura said putting knives whips and blinder thingies in a bag so that when he goes…he can kill again if they try to do anything funny.

"Hey Bakura goes to the psychologist too! So do I, I got with my Yami." Marik said.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo! TAKE ME TO A DIFFERENT ONE!" Bakura screamed.

"There's only one psychologist in this town Bakura…sorry. I'll take your holy water, antiseptics, and Lysol and put them in a bag if you want." Ryou said.

"Yes please!" Bakura said.

Wow…I write a lot. Two stories…in just two days…all 10 or more pages long. I'm so special. Well, here's the deal dudes…hehehe my next story…will obviously be Bakura's first trip to the psychologist. But here's the catch…I've written a lot of stories…so far…the one that's on the lead with the most reviews…is Ryou's gone part 1 with 19 reviews…not good. I write but no reviews people…I feel embarrassed I write stories and people only see it with one review they're going to assume or imply "Hey this story sucks. Let's not read it." So……I know this is…..pretty/kinda mean….but until I get more reviews on all my other stories….looks like Bakura and psychology won't be up anytime soon. Sorry about that.


End file.
